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BECOME FRIENDLIER AND SUCCEED BIGGER

December 17th, 2017 by

Become friendlier and succeed bigger is a concept that most people miss completely. And yet it’s a critical factor if we want to succeed at a higher level. Dale Carnegie, in the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” said that there are all kinds of courses in ordinary schooling. However, he was not aware of any courses on how to get along with people and how to express a friendlier personality. Thus, he created such a course and, to this day, it is taught worldwide with amazing results. I personally took The Dale Carnegie Course years ago and benefited greatly from the simple, but life-changing concepts that I learned there. The Carnegie book describes 9 points that could help any of us become friendlier:

BECOME FRIENDLIER AND SUCCEED BIGGER: DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN, OR COMPLAIN

Become friendlier and succeed biggerOur ability to create great relationships is at the heart of success. Carnegie said that if we want to put the nails in the coffin of any relationship, we should criticize, condemn, or complain. And, he further stated, most fools do just that. He tells about notorious criminals like Al Capone and “Two Gun Crowley” and the fact that they didn’t criticize themselves. In fact, Al Capone, the gangster, felt that he gave people “the lighter side of life.” He believed he was a public benefactor. He didn’t blame himself for anything. Thus, what about the people you and I deal with every day? They usually don’t blame themselves for anything and often defend their actions.

If you feel strongly about criticizing someone, or complaining about something, Carnegie suggested that you do what Abraham Lincoln did when he was upset with a general during the Civil War. Lincoln wanted the general to attack a Confederate force at an opportune moment. The move could have shortened the length of the war. The general did not attack. Lincoln was furious. He wrote a detailed critical letter to the general expressing his dismay. What did the general do when he got it? Nothing. Lincoln never sent it. It was found in his records years later. Thus, if you feel like criticizing, condemning, or complaining, write a detailed letter to the person and put it in a drawer for a few days. Chances are you’ll never send it and you’ll save yourself a setback toward bigger success.

GIVE HONEST AND SINCERE APPRECIATION

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger means giving honest and sincere appreciation. Carnegie said that people perform at a much higher level when their efforts are being appreciated. Carnegie related that John Dewey, one of America’s most profound philosophers, said that the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important. He said that “This desire makes you want to wear the latest styles, drive the latest cars, and talk about  your brilliant children.”

Carnegie further stated, “It is this desire that lures many boys and girls into joining gangs and engaging in criminal activities. The average young criminal, according to E.P. Mulrooney, onetime police commissioner of New York, is filled with ego, and his first request after arrest is for those lurid newspapers that make him out a hero. The disagreeable prospect of serving time seems remote so long as he can gloat over his likeness sharing space with pictures of sports figures, movie and TV stars, and politicians. Thus, when you give honest and sincere appreciation, that makes people feel important and escalates your success.

AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by being aware that the only way to get people to do what we want is by focusing on what other people want. Carnegie said, “Why talk about want we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. So, the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”

Carnegie also said, “Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.” Thus, if you want to become friendlier, and gain greater success, look for the reasons of why the other person might want to do that which you desire.

BECOME GENUINELY INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by becoming genuinely interested in other people. Carnegie said that the people who cause the most harm are those who aren’t interested in anyone but themselves. A study by the New York Telephone Company showed that the word most frequently used in phone conversations was the word “I”. It was used 3,900 times in 500 telephone conversations. Carnegie stated, “When you see a group photograph that you are in, whose picture do you look for first? If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way.”

Carnegie declared, “If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone, use the same psychology. Say “Hello” in tones that bespeak how pleased you are to have the person call. Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company.” My mother was genuinely interested in other people and that was reflected in the success of her business. She said that everybody’s got a story and she felt she could learn something valuable from everyone she met. It’s no wonder people liked her so much!

SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by smiling more. It takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown. And yet, it appears that many people make the extra effort to frown. It’s no wonder people don’t consider them friendly. Carnegie talks about Charles Schwab, the man that Andrew Carnegie made the president of U.S. Steel many years ago: “Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understating the truth. For Schwab’s personality, his charm, his ability to make people like him, were almost wholly responsible for his extraordinary success; and one of the most delightful factors in his personality was his captivating smile.”

Dale Carnegie further related, “Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.” If you’re not used to smiling a lot, just experiment for one week. Make a concerted effort to smile at 5 strangers every day. Watch how much friendlier other people will be to you because you’re going to be friendlier to them.

REMEMBER THAT A PERSON’S NAME IS, TO THAT PERSON, THE SWEETEST AND MOST IMPORTANT SOUND IN ANY LANGUAGE

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by remembering people’s names and calling them by name. Carnegie said that the most important thing in life, to all of us, is our name. Otherwise, why would someone give a fortune to have their name put on a building that will last much longer than their life? Carnegie stated, “This policy of remembering and honoring the names of his friends and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership. He was proud of the fact that he could call many of his factory workers by their names, and he boasted that while he was personally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flaming steel mills.”

When texting, other than to a family member or close friend, may I suggest you always use the other person’s first name and sign with your name? The same goes for e-mails. When meeting people, repeat their name several times. The repetition will solidify their name in your mind and it will make them feel important. Mention the other person’s name several times in phone conversations and watch what a better reception you get to whatever ideas you’re sharing.

BE A GOOD LISTENER – ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by being a very good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Maybe we should look at these proportions. However, these days, with all of our electronics, who’s paying attention to anyone? Thus, the person who is an active listener, really paying attention, is considered to be friendlier and given more respect. Carnegie stated, “What is the secret, the mystery, of a successful business interview? Well, according to former Harvard president Charles W. Eliot, ‘There is no mystery about successful business intercourse… Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that.”

My mother, who I mentioned became very successful in business, literally had air brakes on her words. She listened very intently. Thus, if she felt the other person wanted to say something, she would stop talking and say, “What were you just thinking?” With her gentle and caring tone of voice, everyone opened up to her. And, if they had a different point of view, she gently said: “Tell me more.” She was interested in other people’s viewpoints and said: “I can learn from everyone I meet.” She also realized that the person controlling a conversation is not the one who’s talking. It’s the one who’s asking the questions.

TALK IN TERMS OF THE OTHERS PERSON’S INTERESTS

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by talking in terms of the other person’s interests. Of course, you and I are much more interested in our own interests. So are the other people. Thus, if we want to escalate our success, let’s put ourselves in their shoes and talk about their interests.

Carnegie related, “Everyone who was ever a guest of Theodore Roosevelt was astonished at the range and diversity of his knowledge. Whether his visitor was a cowboy or a Rough Rider, a New York politician or a diplomat, Roosevelt knew what to say. And how was it done? The answer was simple. Whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, he sat up late the night before, reading up on the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.”

As a professional speaker, I’m very aware that my presentations go much better when I get a lot of audience members to talk. I ask a lot of questions and poll my audience regularly. I tell people that I’m not really a speaker. I’m a facilitator. I’ve come to get them to talk. I guide the process with my questions and then I get them to participate. Thus, I find that this process gets me much further than if I had simply come to lecture. I also find that I succeed bigger when I make other people around me shine. By talking in terms of their interests, I come across as being much friendlier.

MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL IMPORTANT AND DO IT SINCERELY

Become friendlier and succeed biggerBecome friendlier and succeed bigger by making other people feel important. Carnegie said that we don’t ‘want’ to feel important. He said that we all ‘need’ to feel important. He also stated that “people will do more for a feeling of importance that they will for money!” I’m thinking that if I throw enough money at a situation, surely it will fix it. Not if I mistreat you. You’ll eventually have had it with me. Carnegie further related, “The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way.”

If you don’t do this regularly, and realize how much of a shortcut this could be to your greater success, may I suggest that you make a sign that sits on our desk where you can see it every day: EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT! Look at it every day and soon you will be making other people feel important. Do it sincerely and watch what others will do to help you achieve great things.

BECOME FRIENDLIER AND SUCCEED BIGGER DAILY AFFIRMATION

“I follow Dale Carnegie’s ideas to become friendlier and thus I succeed bigger!”

Related Article: Sell Yourself to Others

Get Motivated and Stay Motivated with a Championship Attitude.       Learn more about BoazSpeaker of the YearBoazpower.com

Copyright 2017 by Boaz Rauchwerger
619-723-3007
Boaz@Boazpower.com
YouTube.com/BoazPowerTV

 

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IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS & GET THE COMPETITION ON YOUR SIDE

October 23rd, 2017 by

Impress your friends get the competition on your side by being confident in front of an audience. In the business world, there is nothing more important than presentation skills. Motivating a team, engaging with customers, and promoting your company, all involve speaking with verve and clarity. Better yet, it makes your co-workers happy and improves your profits. Everyone has something to learn when it comes to public speaking. A profit building speaker specializes in assisting professionals level up their game.

IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS GET THE COMPETITION ON YOUR SIDE BY BECOMING A CHAMPION

When you entered the workforce, you made a deal to try your best every single day. Everyone has off days. But, with the right techniques, you can battle through your slumps and appear as the champion you were meant to be. Inviting a speaker to your conference or corporate event can work wonders on your state of mind. Just one speech from a master of language can give you the tools to succeed at every stage of your career.

SET YOUR GOALS

Of the main points a profit building speaker can stress is the importance of setting goals. Whether it’s long-term or short-term, keeping your desires at the forefront of your thoughts can improve your performance like nothing else. From creating lists to brainstorming with colleagues, you’ll learn the necessary techniques to turn dreams into reality. Consequences include larger profits and a greater sense of accomplishment.

IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

If you ever tried to network with industry professionals but felt there was something missing, you’re in luck. There are tools of the trade that you can utilize to make people call you first when they want to collaborate or set up a fancy dinner event. While friends and family are important, it’s your business relationships that will make you bring home the big check. Listen closely to a professional performance speaker, and you’ll quickly grasp the tricks you need to feel like a top dog every time you come into the office.

IT DOESN’T END AT WORK

The race to the top isn’t easy. The motivational speaker didn’t get to his position by slacking off and he’s ready to share the secrets of his success. His proposal might seem simple, but it has big payoffs. Take care of your health by eating right and exercising. That’s healthy for both the body and the mind. Good nutrition and vigorous workouts several times a week can literally improve your brain and your performance. If you think your schedule is too busy, please realize that anyone can make time for what’s important.

Communication skills can carry you a long way. Invite a profit building speaker to your company and you might be surprised at the performance improvement and morale burst for yourself and your coworkers. Click here for more information.

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HOW ARE GREAT LEADERS GREAT MOTIVATORS?

October 15th, 2017 by

How are great leaders great motivators? Great leaders gravitate to positions of authority, and make more money, because people want to follow them. They know how to motivate people and get them to want to help them achieve an important goal. But, leaders are not born that way. They don’t automatically know how to be great leaders and great motivators.

If you wish to become a great leader, who’s a great motivator, here are 5 steps to take:

1. HOW ARE GREAT LEADERS GREAT MOTIVATORS? BY BEING GENUINELY INTERESTED IN OTHER PEOPLE? 

Great leaders are great motivators because they are genuinely interested in others.How are great leaders great motivators? Dale Carnegie, in the best-selling book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, said that the people who cause the most harm in society are the ones who aren’t interested in anyone but themselves. He also said that the people who are genuinely interested in others seem to have the doors of opportunity opening up ahead of them. Carnegie further stated that everybody’s favorite topic is THEM! It’s not you; it’s not me; it’s THEM.

So, a great leader gets to know people by letting them talk about themselves. My dearly departed Jewish mother was genuinely interested in other people and she let them talk about themselves. She said that everybody’s got a story and she felt she could learn something interesting from everybody she met.

How are great leaders great motivators? They realize that their future success is dependent on their ability to create great relationships. My mother created them in minutes by asked everybody the same Five Questions:

Where are you from originally?

(If not from here) What brought you here?

(If from here) Have you lived here all your life?

Do you have a family?

(If you don’t know) What do you do?

What did you want to be when you were growing up?

In my many years of being a speaker, with many events for groups of CEO’s worldwide, I’m amazed with how many people don’t really know the people they’ve been working with for many years. They can’t answer the five questions above. When I get them to sit down for coffee with those employees, and ask these questions, their leadership status goes way up because they’re being genuinely interested and letting people talk about their favorite topic – THEM.

2. THEY DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN, OR COMPLAIN!

Great leaders are great motivators because they don't criticize, condemn, or complain.How are great leaders great motivators? They don’t criticize, condemn, or complain. That piece of important leadership training is at the heart of Chapter 1 of the Carnegie book. He said that, if you wanted to put the nails in the coffin of any relationship, go ahead and criticize, condemn, or complain.

The natural instinct is to do exactly that. However, great leaders realize that this is a huge roadblock when it comes to motivating other people. They also realize that the most precious thing anyone of us has is our self-image, the way we see ourselves. When we criticize other people, we’re tearing down their self-image. This is especially harmful when we do so in front of other people. That may be the moment they decide that they eventually want to work somewhere else.

Instead of criticizing, condemning, or complaining, how about stating the following when someone who reports to you makes a mistake or does something they shouldn’t have done: “What did we learn from this situation and what do you think we could do differently next time?” That statement will let someone save face and will teach them something productive when they come up with a better direction for the future.

Another productive step would be to go for an entire week without complaining about anything to anyone! Just do this and I think you’ll be amazed with how motivating that will be for the people around you.

3. THEY LET THE OTHER PERSON DO MOST OF THE TALKING

Great leaders are great motivators because they let the other person do a great deal of the talking.Great leaders are great motivators because they get other people to do more of the talking and to come up with their own ideas. After all, people will fight for their own ideas! God gave us two ears and one mouth. Maybe we should listen twice as much as we talk. The reason more people don’t become great leaders is that they feel they know it all and want to tell other people what to do. Who’s the only person growing here?

If you’re a leader of people, make sure you don’t monopolize meetings. Great leaders know that they will motivate others much better when they make the people around them shine. Thus, if you want to motivate others to help you with an idea, give the idea and then say the following: “I’d like to stop and get everyone’s opinion of my idea, whether you agree or disagree. Especially if you disagree, because I’ve been known to be wrong.”

I’m taking for granted that you’re genuinely interested in other people. If you’re not, don’t do this. Also, watch your tone of voice. We want people to feel safe talking in meetings, especially if they disagree. Then, don’t ask for volunteers. Simply start on one side of the room or the other. Then, when people comment, take notes, and not electronically. When we take notes, when someone else is talking, we honor them. What if they come up with a great idea? If possible, let them run with that idea. As I stated, people will fight for their own idea.

4. WHEN THEY’RE WRONG, THEY ADMIT IT QUICKLY AND EMPHATICALLY!

Great leaders are great motivators because they admit mistakes quickly.Great leaders are great motivators because, when they’re wrong, they admit it quickly and emphatically. It shows that they are human and that they’re open to learning. The majority of people will defend themselves, waste a lot of time, and not help improve the moment. The statement, “I was wrong!” can go a long way to show great leadership and to motivate other people to help you move ahead.

I was born in Israel. There, in company meetings, leaders do not tolerate people defending themselves when things go wrong. To them, defending is not acceptable. They believe it’s a big waste of time. They feel that, if you were wrong, admit it quickly and tell everyone what you learned in the process. They feel that there is great value in the lesson rather than beat a dead horse. That concept is taught from the leaders in Israeli companies and passed along to all team members.

5. THEY HELP THEIR TEAM MEMBERS IDENTIFY THEIR PERSONAL “WHY”

Great leaders are great motivators because they help others achieve their rewards.How are great leaders great motivators? Because they help the people who report to them identify an exciting next reward. Most people, who are in positions of authority, usually look at what others can do for them. It’s like wanting the heat out of the fireplace before putting the wood in. Great leaders who are great motivators look at things from another perspective. They look at it from the other person’s point of view and figure out what that person wants. The old saying is I’ll get everything I want out of life when I help enough other people get what they want.

How are great leaders great motivators? They start with identifying their own “Why” first. This would be something frivolous that you would do for YOU in the next few months, a short-term reward. The mind gets motivated by rewards. This is not something for anyone else, not for your family. It’s for YOU! You’ll do more for everybody when you do more for you! It could be a weekend away to somewhere special. Your personal budget for this might be $2,000 or $3,000. Get a picture of this reward, about the size of a business card, laminate it, and look at it the first thing each morning and the last thing each night.

Help the people who report to you do the same thing. Their budget will be less than yours, perhaps $500. Make sure they get a picture, laminate it, and start looking at it each day. Make a note of the rewards each one of your direct reports wants and look for ways to help them get that reward. This is motivation at the very core, what’s in the heart of the people you want to motivate.

6. RAISE YOUR ENTHUSIASM LEVEL!

Great leaders are great motivators because they show enthusiasm.How are great leaders great motivators? Napoleon Hill, in the famous book “Think and Grow Rich”, said that enthusiasm is the secret sauce that raises some people to a higher level of success than most people.

The word comes from the Greek and it means “God within”. It is the spark that makes other people want to follow you. We like following people who have some fire in their hearts and excitement in their spirit. As the saying goes, genius is always accompanied by ENTHUSIASM!

If you don’t feel like being enthusiastic, keep in mind that the group runs in the speed of the leader. Thus, if you want to be a great leader and a great motivator, you need to show enthusiasm. If you don’t have that now, may I suggest you declare the following affirmation the first thing every morning and the last thing each night? Those are the two times your subconscious mind is most open to suggestion.

WHY ARE GREAT LEADERS GREAT MOTIVATORS DAILY AFFIRMATION

“Everything I touch prospers and succeeds. I’m a great leader and a great motivator. I have lots of enthusiasm every day!”

Related Article: 15 Ways to Improve Your Attitude and That of Those Around You

Get Motivated and Stay Motivated with a Championship Attitude.       Learn more about BoazSpeaker of the YearBoazpower.com

Copyright 2017 by Boaz Rauchwerger
619-723-3007
Boaz@Boazpower.com
YouTube.com/BoazPowerTV

 

 

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